We had two intense and very different performances yesterday. The first was very formal – following a minute’s silence and the national hymn – and with the memorial landscape empty except for us. I am bad at estimating numbers of people but I think at least 3000 people squashed close to the memorial to see the dance. I was full of admiration for the performers who had started their dance centimetres away from the crowd and yet remained focused, honest and present in their performance. The cameraman for the live TV stream was also right in the middle of the dance the whole time – yet another performance challenge!!

Our second performance was in the afternoon. By then the memorial landscape had become a park. People were lying in the sun, drinking beer and children were playing. This time the dancers performed among the crowd and the audience watched from within the piece.

I feel a sense of a job well done. The last two weeks were the most intense working process of my life. I have met many new and challenging professional situations, made compromises, fought for what I thought was right, found words to describe something I did not yet know, found movements to describe things which made me weep.

My heartfelt thanks to all who gave so much of their time, energy and creativity to the project.

There is much to reflect upon and learn in the next weeks – but for now I am going to cuddle my boys and watch children’s television so I can sit still for a while…

Auf der anderen seite hatten wir heute zwei generalproben in der öffentlichkeit, die wie zwei aufführungen waren – die menschen, die uns sahen, schienen beeindruckt gewesen zu sein. (Das macht das verhältnis schon besser.)

Der weg ist das ziel, schiesst es durch mein kopf: da bin ich bei dem prozess, den wir in diesen zwei wochen durchgemacht haben. Erstaunlich !

Erstaunlich, wie eine gruppe von ca. 25 Menschen, die sich kaum oder gar nicht vorher kannten, so eine entwicklung durchmachen und so ein stück auf die beine stellen kann.
Wie und was die leitung – Jo und ihr team – und die teilnehmer da gezaubert haben, ist verwunderlich – schliesslich sind wir, die tänzer, keine profis, sondern fast ausnahmslos laien (und es locken nicht 1o.ooo € für jede pose).
Die atmosphäre war immer gut, nein sehr gut, das miteinander klasse – ich habe nie zuvor soviel lob und encouraging feedback in einem gruppenprozess gehört.(Da könnten sich einige leute mal eine scheibe abschneiden.)

Es ist auch arbeit dabei. Aber das lernen und arbeiten hat wirklich MEISTENS freude gemacht. I think i am able to estimate how much work the staff put into this project. Awesome!

So what is this all about – um was geht es hier bei dieser sache ?
Zwei dutzend menschen haben für zwei wochen eine gute zeit und stellen was auf die beine ?
Einige dutzend menschen hautnah, einige hundert normale zuschauer (auf der bühne) und mehrere tausend leute vor dem tv oder screen sehen eine tanz-performance – sind schwer beeindruckt oder wissen nichts damit anzufangen ?
Soll oder kann es auf zeitgenössischen tanz oder community dance (dieses stichwort habe ich in diesen 2 wochen mal als beschreibung für unsere arbeit gehört) aufmerksam machen ?
Honestly, i do not know.

I started dancing – modern/comtemporary dance – 2 years ago. Und vor einigen monaten kam mir der gedanke, man müsste diese art von bewegung/tanz viel mehr in die öffentlichkeit und auf die strasse bringen, weil über diese ausdrucksform möglicherweise die menschen auf einer anderen ebene zu erreichen sind. Deshalb habe ich bei diesem projekt mitgemacht.
Es kam ganz anders, als ich dachte – und trotzdem hoffe ich noch öfters in diesem bereich einen, wenn auch nur sehr kleinen beitrag leisten zu können.
I honestly hope this is only a beginning and i will be able to contribute on this level more often.

thank you for asking me to blog – do it again, C.
(man könnte auch sagen/fragen: reflektieren sie doch mal ihren prozess, ringo)

And you, Jo – keep on rocking. We need you.

Tomorrow is dress rehearsal and I am filled with a sense of calm. The dancers are extraordinary – they respond to detailed coaching with a sensitivity and skill which belies their lack of experience. They are reflective, patient and always willing – and their performance feels fine tuned and “safe”.

The creative process is an island of calm in an otherwise somewhat hectic process. I have spoken to more journalists in the last two weeks than in the whole of the rest of my life. Each day there is some new logistical challenge to overcome – high security to protect the people attending, music speakers to be placed and then negotiated choreographically, the rainy weather….we are a tiny team and Fiona, Anna and Patty are also carrying enormous workloads.  Our assistant team are tireless as dancers, facilitators and “please could you fetchers”. I am so grateful to these people who work with such dedication to help me realise the piece.

However, I also feel a lot of responsibility. We say a lot in our dance piece and I think we represent the voices from the past, present and future.

The people from the past are those who have been living in those “on the border houses”, who were jumping out of them to flee for a better life, who suffered because of the wall etc.

The present is clearly represented by us. Since we are such a diverse group, we all have different stories with the wall.  I remember that one afternoon, when we sat down and listened to all of our stories. It was a sad and beautiful experience and I felt so relieved knowing that there is no visual wall anymore (even though there still might be some tiny walls in the minds of the people).

Well, the future makes my mind really heavy. Even though there was an end for Germany, in a lot of places it is still unfinished history. Having a wall in between two countries means that the problem is not really solved, but simply the solution is postponed and you never know what will happen next. While living in Korea the past ten, eleven years, I have never had the fear that a war will break out. I felt that Seoul is one of the safest cities on earth. However, after the shooting last year, I remember my mom calling me to come home immediately, and I ignored it first. After I hung up though, I imagined how it would be when war breaks out. How it could happen so easily and how it would destroy everything immediately, as it did to my mom who lost her father because of the war. I felt so unsafe and fear took over me. I talked with Regina about this and she told me that she also had this feeling when she was living right next to East Berlin and the wall. Hopefully, there will be no wall in this world soon.

So yeah, nowadays I have these mixed feelings about our project and I am really really really excited about Saturday.

Let’s rock it!

Our “day off” and after sleeping late and playing with my sons ,I am now in the office balancing the budget, writing invoices, planning the rehearsal schedule and reflecting upon all the feedback from the dancers, co-choreographers, assistants and “outside eyes”.

We did a “stumble through” on Friday and are running quite a lot too long so I am thinking about how to condense the images. I think most of the length is in transitions and how the dancers perform and we will not cut but rather condense. The rain is making it hard as we cannot dance on the site as much as we would like and timings shift so much when we are there because it is so big.

Fiona and I met with Wassily (the composer) yesterday and we did good work on developing the music – finding a good mix between the cello’s immediate emotional resonance and the “cooler” tones needed to allow the audience to see the dance and make their own decisions about what to feel. Seeing Wassily continue to play while clipping paperclips to his strings (to deaden the vibrations) is impressive!

Vor acht Tagen haben wir uns das erste Mal getroffen, um über das Stück zu sprechen. Die Führung über das Gelände, welches unsere Bühne ist, war sehr beeindruckend und machte mir die Tragweite DER MAUER, die ich selber nicht erlebt habe, wieder neu bewusst.
Jeden Tag setzen wir uns nun mit vielen verschiedenen „Mauern“ auseinander und überwinden diese – nicht nur tänzerisch. Anstelle meiner Knie ist nach einer Woche mein Ellbogen blau und zeugt von meinem persönlichen Blick über die Mauer: meine Tanzpartnerin sitzt im Rollstuhl – eine ganz neue Erfahrung und Herausforderung für mich.
Ich bin sehr gespannt, wie unser erster Durchlauf auf dem Gelände sein wird.
Neben allen organisatorischen, choreographischen, gruppendynamischen Fragen bleibt stets die Intention des Stückes und des Ortes im Vordergrund. Wenn wir über- und untereinander eine Mauer aus Körpern formen und dann überlegt wird, ob es nicht zu sehr nach toten Körpern aussieht, tritt der akrobatisch-tänzerische Aspekt in den Hintergrund und die Tragweite der Mauer, die Konsequenz für die Menschen damals wird greifbar.
Was für ein Privileg, auf dem Postenweg tanzen zu dürfen und damit ein Zeichen setzen zu können!

puh, um meine Muskeln zu lockern war ich gerade beim Yoga und freue mich jetzt darauf in den nächsten zwei Tagen alles was wir in dieser intensiven Woche gemacht haben zu verarbeiten, und auf die nächste Woche mit allen .

Although this has been just my second day (I had to miss the firts two as I were still travelling) it seems like a week of work already. This is not what only my body tells me quite directly, but it’s mainly according to the experiences and achievements we all together and I myself made. It’s again a miracle how it works out, that during work there is an athmosphere of being relaxed, happy, just floating along, and still there is such an intensity that after every phase of work we could see – yes, we improved, we got it clearer, we understand how it is meant and what we are doing to make it visible.
I think a great part lies on Jo as well as Fiona and Anna (and the very sensible selection of participants), by guiding us with so much apprehension of what we dancers offer, and for me it fells like they really(!) like what we do. As a teacher I am so accustomed to that famous “looking for defects” that this way of working+guiding is also an inspiration for my own way of teaching.
So now I have to get a warm bath to sooth my muscles – for another day of serenity and joy out on the field.